Three years, three months and eight days ago… The fireworks were just starting to explode in the evening sky while nurses, family and a doctor crowded around as the final contractions took place. A smile crossed my face as I first heard the unfamiliar cries of my beautiful daughter echoing through my ears, her tiny blue eyes flickering methodically, pulling me toward her like Odysseus being drawn to the Island of the Sirens. Little did I know the impact this child would have on my heart, thoughts and even my pseudo masculinity. I spent countless hours watching the rise and fall of her chest while anticipating her every need, needless to say; as she learned how to get my attention, any efforts to resist becoming her little “puppet on a string” were futile to say the least. I found myself enjoying strange tasks such as painting toenails, watching Disney movies, and singing pony songs while attempting to braid my daughter’s hair (mermaid waterfall heart braid). These moments, though awkward, are truly sacred.
I still remember the feeling of an atomic bomb going off inside my chest when I first gazed upon the uneven stack of papers labeled “Divorce”. That was the day that I realized everything I had planned and dreamed of would be torn from my life in one swift motion. The trials that followed would test the sanity of any father and push him to the brink of utter submission. As tough as it is to accept that your spouse has moved on and will never again be your one and only, it is necessary for you to do the same while maintaining a professional and caring relationship; for the future of your child depends on it. Over the next couple years I spent my time learning how to love and care for my daughter from a distance and learning what her new interests are each and every time she visits. It is very easy to develop a strong hatred towards your ex spouse, but after years of fuming, I can safely say that to forgive and forget is easier said than done, but is essential in being a loving and caring nonconventional parenting team. My advice to any fathers out there is this, treasure the moments you have, for they, like your sons and daughters, are so very precious.
Our mission is to assist women and families in the Brookings area and SDSU who are experiencing unplanned pregnancy to explore choices by providing appropriate resources and support including counseling, educational programs, and mentoring.
CALL: (605) 692-1600
Life, Love and Lessons Series
Option 1’s "Life, Love, and Lessons" blog series provides small glimpses into the life, love, and lessons from a variety parents. Some may be just like you and some may not resemble you, but each is here to share their own journey.
PO Box 924 | 103B 22nd Ave
Brookings, SD 57006
Phone: (605) 692-1600
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Tuesday & Thursday | 6-8pm
Or by appointment
At Option 1 of Brookings, SD, we recognize that women have a right to make their own decisions about the outcome of their pregnancy and their sexual health. We are here to help women and their partners make informed and thoughtful decisions. The information provided on this website is not intended to diagnose any condition or pregnancy and should not take the place of your medical practitioner. Although option1.org provides valuable and credible health information, this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, legal or counseling advice.